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5 Things I Learned in 2018

January 24, 2019 by Jacqueline Hamilton in Healthy Living, J's Thoughts, Lifestyle, Mental Wellness

Writing has been so difficult for me. In 2018 I wrote two pieces for my blog after coming off a great writing year in 2017. So here we are 3rd week of January 2019 and I’ve finally quieted my mind long enough to write my annual post of what I learned in the previous year. This will be my 3rd installation to this practice and probably the year I’ve seen the most honest and transformative change in myself. I turned 29 last summer and reconciling what my 20s has been and meant to me has been agonizing and inspiring at the same time. With my 30th birthday a little more than 7 months away, I stepped into 2019 determined to conquer some challenges I’ve been making steady progress on since 2015. Here’s what I learned in 2018.

 

Healing is About Processing Pain

American society and it’s quickly growing health and wellness industry has catapulted the word “healing” into our everyday lexicon.  With soft pinks, deep browns, and ferns as a common aesthetics, the practice of “healing” is usually centered on feeling good. Allowing yourself to grow past your mental and emotional pain.  When I decided to take my healing seriously and primarily be accountable to myself (see what I learned in 2017) I discovered that the process back to being healthy, starts with pain. There is no transformative process that takes place without pain. From childbirth to weight loss, financial literacy to education. We will rarely accomplish anything without emotional, mental, or physical discomfort.  Healthy processing of pain is what healing is about. Processing pain is about learning healthy coping techniques. Without these techniques we have no choice but to return to our old ways of coping that usually lead back to more pain. If we can think of pain as being a purposeful tool to breaking through the walls our mind and experiences have built for us, as another emotion or sensation on a wide spectrum, we can make conquering it much more attainable. Researching and creating these new habits require patience. So, take in the full knowledge of what pains you and you’ll be on your first step to change. Recognize. Acknowledge. Accept. Act. These are the steps to changing your life.

 

Boundaries are the foundation of Self Love/Care

From a psychological standpoint, much of our emotional pain that we have experienced from other people is brought on by repeated offenses against our boundaries. Many of us learn that our boundaries are neither recognized or respected in childhood and naturally grow into adults who don’t know how to start resurrecting them for our mental peace of mind. Self-love and self-care are also popular words in the health and wellness lexicon and not surprising also focuses on feeling good. The love of self should translate to the healthy protection of self. Not allowing the ones who are interested in drinking from our cups to take but never replenish. People who insist on engaging with you, whether that be platonic-ally or romantically, must show a firm respect and appreciation for your boundaries. Most importantly, you must show a firm respect and appreciation for your boundaries. Setting boundaries was some of the toughest work I did this year. I had to set boundaries with my family, friends, and past lovers. I had to show myself that I could control the energy coming into and out of my life. Maintaining those newly developed boundaries was the most laborious part. When you’ve let people violate boundaries for so long, them seeing a big red stop sign on their next encounter looks more like an obstacle than a firm pronouncement. Regardless of the guilt, the shame, the impending loneliness we must stand decisively behind our choices and our boundaries. Those who refuse to respect your boundaries don’t truly care. They care more about their desire than your peace. If you don’t stand up for you, who will?

 

Build with Like Minded People

The first two lessons were lengthy and heavy, so I hope to make the last 3 concise. Build with likeminded people means stepping outside of your naturally developed circle of friends and family to converse and learn from people with similar goals as you. This experience brought so many amazing women into my life.  I’ve been able to build, plan, and map out ideas with other female entrepreneurs and get valuable life advice in the process.  It’s a little scary at first, but if you have confidence in your goals you’ll naturally attract others who also have confidence in the same goals.  Find your tribe and always remind them how special they are.

 

Observational Awareness

Not to be confused with situational awareness (although they’re similar) is the act of observing your surroundings and yourself in the many day to day interactions we have with people and triggers. When we feel ourselves moving from the space of emotional stability, this is the time to engage, observe, and activate awareness. It is a skill that must be built over time. It requires you to think and examine your emotions before speaking. If we can master this skill we can learn when to acknowledge our triggers externally and when to move on without an exaggerated reaction.  You save more energy for yourself and live more at peace with your choices when you act from observation and not from impulse.

 

Forgiveness

Whew. This lesson right here was the doozy. Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of those who have done us wrong but never apologized are some of the hardest emotional battles I’ve taken on in my 20s. No one does this life thing perfectly. No one has all the answers and gets it right the first time, every time. Forgiveness is the key to truly moving forward. I had to forgive myself for not staying with my daughter’s father and then the following terrible relationship choices I made for myself to give her the two-parent household I didn’t have. I had to forgive my parents for not knowing exactly what to do when they were still kids themselves. The most difficult forgiveness, was forgiving myself for pouring so much love, time, and energy into people who did not have the same desire to pour into me. I spent so much of my 20s trying to convince others to love me properly when I could’ve been loving myself all along. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?  So now I am grateful that I learned this lesson and am now doing everything in my power to love myself as thoroughly as I deserve. In return I’ve been a better mother, attracted better men, and have no unhealthy attachments. Life is good.

January 24, 2019 /Jacqueline Hamilton
New Year, Lessons Learned, Personal, Spirituality, Wellness, Mental Wellness
Healthy Living, J's Thoughts, Lifestyle, Mental Wellness
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Left top: Lapis Luzuli Left Bottom: Sunstone Right Top: Amethyst Right Bttm: Citrine Center: Rose Quartz

5 Healing Crystals You'll Find In My Purse

June 09, 2016 by Jacqueline Hamilton in Lifestyle, Spirituality

Since we are approaching the space and time between the new moon and the full moon I thought it would be great to share information about the benefits of my favorite healing crystals.  Healing crystals are more than visually appealing rocks. Created deep in the Earth through the process of volcanic magma, continental collisions, water, and ever changing pressure from shifting tectonic plates. Crystals are millions of years old and hold information that we can all use. Used and adored by ancient cultures from Egypt to Mesopotamia, they have been heralded as mystical and magical for millennia. Below are just a few crystals I use and carry with me on any given day.

 

Citrine

Citrine is an amber and occasionally white or clear colored stone that attracts prosperity and abundance. Citrine is considered the money stone because of its ability to attract wealth, but this is also a stone of personal power. Associated with your solar plexus chakra, which is located right below your biceps/breast area, this stone can help increase willpower and focus helping us reach and accomplish our goals.

 

Amethyst

Amethyst can arrive in a range from lavender to deep violet colored stone. Its beauty is stunning and its abilities felt immediately. This stone is associated with the crown chakra which is located above the top of our skulls in a similar fashion to a halo. This stone improves mental clarity and intuitive abilities. Amethyst can provide great relief if you’re suffering from a headache or migraine. Just place Amethyst directly on your forehead or under your pillow to prevent nightmares.

 

Lapis Luzuli

Lapis Luzuli is my stone of 2016. Often found to be royal blue to light blue speckled with white brown or yellow. Lapis Luzuli aids in improving communication in relationships both platonic and romantic. This stone works in sync with the throat chakra and helps to support wisdom, intellect, and analysis.  This is a great tool for creatives as it helps improve clarity in thought and judgment.

 

Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz is a form of Quartz that is found to be a pale to deep pink colored stone. I purchase, lose, and give away Rose Quartz all the time, making it the stone I interact with the most often. Rose Quartz is aligned with the heart chakra meaning this is the stone of unconditional love and matters of the heart.  This is a great crystal to aid in learning to love self as well as being a better lover to others.

 

Sunstone

I first purchased this stone as an aid to Seasonal Affect Disorder. SAD is a mood disorder that is brought on by a change in season, specifically winter when there is far less sunlight. I live in Seattle where we experience 8-10 months of gray, sunless skies.  The lack of sun can affect people of color because the sun recharges their melanin both physically and spiritually.  Sunstone has surprised me because it has helped me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. This red, orange, and gold colored stone encourages abundance, leadership, and perseverance.  Since this gem harnesses the power of the sun and it’s ability to manifest new life and opportunities this is a great stone to use when seeking a new job or new leadership position. 

 

These five are my personal favorites, but this list is ever evolving and changing depending on my moods and needs. I encourage you to purchase stones in person. Peruse a gemstone shop or spirituality store and take home the ones that you are naturally drawn to. A great reference for learning more about healing crystals is linked here. Also check out The Crystal Bible written by Judy Hall. This has served to be an invaluable resource to me in learning the meanings associated with each crystal as well as how to care for and maintain their metaphysical properties. Do you own any crystals, if so leave a comment and share your experiences.

June 09, 2016 /Jacqueline Hamilton
Healing Crystals, Spirituality, Inspiration, Mysticism, Mystic, Bruja, Energy, Wellness
Lifestyle, Spirituality
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I Went Looking For God & Found The Universe

January 15, 2016 by Jacqueline Hamilton in Lifestyle, Inspiration

I was raised Christian. My domination is Baptist, and I honestly have no complaints regarding my childhood in church. My grandmother is easily the most religious person in my family. Far from a zealot, but she is the matriarch, the queen and we all obliged to make her happy. What we all know about Black Church is it can be a long day on those wooden benches, but it was always entertaining. From Sunday School with “Sister such and such”, to morning devotion, the hour long sermon, and last but not least the call to fellowship. I did it all from a youth usher, to the children’s choir. I enjoyed that so much I eventually upgraded to the women’s choir. I deeply appreciate the fundamental ideas instilled in me at church. It fined tuned my moral compass and created boundaries around my big heart.

I haven’t regularly attended church since I was 15. Nearly 11 years later, I have no plans to ever resume that ritual. I enjoy going once in a blue moon, it’s the nostalgia of it that draws me in. I love hearing gospel songs and an ambitious sermon, but the questions I started asking in my early teens would never be answered in church. “Why are there 3 offerings in one service?” “If the holy trinity is the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost, then where is the mother?” Most of the time I would be given long elaborate explanations that never really made sense or answered my questions, or simply told to stay in a child’s place.

In High School, I started learning the history of the Bible and how it was written in a dead language in a largely illiterate society. Which of course generated more questions. From that point I began an unconscious search for God. I read a lot of material about human spirituality, reading about Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucianism. I learned that Islam is the most practiced religion in the world, and Hinduism also had a widespread following and it made me wonder. “How can someone go to hell when they never even knew Jesus existed?” I felt my way through some deeply spiritual moments, including sleeping under a blanket of stars on a boat in the Pacific Ocean.

During a bout of depression in my early 20s, where everything seemed too hard for no reason, I began praying and reading the Bible again. It was what I knew best.  I found parts of it to be absurd but I mostly found it to be inspiring. When I stopped trying to understand every verse in every chapter in every book, and instead viewed it from a general overview it read like a guide on unconditional love. From Job’s unconditional love of God, God’s unconditional love for his son, and Jesus’s love for the world. Every Bible story has an underlying theme of love conquering all obstacles. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 is still my favorite series of versus in the Bible. If God is love and love lives and is manifested inside of us, what does that make us? What about the other organisms on the planet? Since God created all that we know and see on this planet and beyond I started to look for God in the animals, in the plants, and in my child. I read more about science, math, and how it is ever present in everything we see.

I came to understand the universal order that encompasses not just humans, the planet Earth, and the galaxy, but the entire Universe surrounding us. So after years of unconsciously looking for God, I consciously came to the conclusion that God is an energy that flows through all living things from insects to stars. God lives in all of us, and we show our best love to God by showing the best love to ourselves and to each other. I am in no way suggesting that anyone should lose their religion and follow the ideals I have. I believe each of our relationships with that higher energy of influence is deeply personal. It should be shaped and defined in the way that works best for us on an individual level. For me, I find peace in believing that all religions can co-exist. That as long as the world keeps spinning and the sun keeps rising and setting that we are in flow with all things. I love the air I breathe, the people I meet, and pure simplistic beauty that surrounds us every day. I found God in the flower that grows in between the cracks on the sidewalk, and in the intricate patterns of butterfly wings. So what does God mean to you?

 

 

 

January 15, 2016 /Jacqueline Hamilton
God, Universe, Religion, Lifestyle, Spirituality, Inspiration
Lifestyle, Inspiration
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All content has been created, written, painted, and photographed by Jacqueline Hamilton unless stated otherwise.