5 Things I Learned in 2017

I learned so much this year, it has been especially difficult to reduce everything that has transpired in my life down into 5 lessons. This year, has unfolded in a way that I never anticipated but am exceptionally grateful for. That is not to say, what I have experienced, hasn’t been heartbreaking, challenging, and just down right depressing at times. The last 3 years have been a journey into my own personal perception, and ideals. Recognizing which ones were my own and which ones were a product of my conditioning from both my family and society. I reclaimed old lessons that I had long ago abandoned, and discarded old ways of learning that no longer served me. I have learned more about myself in 2017 than any other year since I’ve became an adult and mother. So, let’s dig into it.

Focus/Define Your Goals

The word “goal” is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, as the end of which effort is directed. Goals should have little to do with aesthetic or short-term gain. Once we reach the end of which effort is directed, we usually shift and define a new end and apply effort in that direction. Goals keep us on track, they keep us accountable, and they give us a good way to track the progression of our efforts or lack thereof. Defining goals should be based around changes you truly want to make from the inside out. Look at the motivation behind a set goal, and will it truly improve your life. Goals should also complement each other. For example, if you have a goal of losing weight and saving money, look for ways that you can save money that will also contribute to your weight loss goal like no longer eating out. With this method, you are rewarding yourself twice for one action. Skip the pizza slice and make a salad at home. You’ve just killed two birds with one stone.

Be Gentle With Yourself

When you are attempting to make great lifestyle or mindset changes you are going to fail. Count on making mistakes. Count on backsliding. Don’t beat yourself up for not being a different person overnight. Any change that is meant to be real and substantial will happen gradually. We afford a great deal of patience with others but rarely give ourselves the same consideration. Don’t be defeated by your thoughts of not being able to stick with something. My friends applaud me for my self-control, but I still see myself as undisciplined and unrefined. I see myself this way because it has taken me years to conquer issues in my life that others feel I should’ve overcame in months, or weeks. The reality is, we’re all refined in some areas and not in others. Keeping in mind, issues that took years to become issues will also take a great deal of time to undo. While I can be disciplined enough to write and publish this piece before the New Year, I’m undisciplined in the way of saying no to an extra pepperoni, extra cheese pizza. Don’t be so lazy and unconcerned that you make a lifestyle out of backsliding, but also don’t be so hard on yourself that you kill your motivation to keep striving. Be gentle with yourself. Talk kindly to yourself. Have the compassion for yourself that you tend to have for others.

Give Your Best Effort

For some people, your best effort will never be good enough, but that should not discourage you from always trying your best. Giving your best, putting your best foot forward is not about being THE best. It’s about doing the best you can do from your present space. Giving our best effort transcends monetary success. Give your best effort in your relationships. Be a better listener, be more willing to learn, be a better communicator.  We all evolve on our own timelines. What is best to you, may not be what is best to me, or may not see that it’s best until later. When we constantly give our best effort, we will always get the results we seek from ourselves.

Always Be Prepared

In the hood, we say “Stay ready so you never have to get ready.” It’s a Black proverb about preparedness. When you keep your focus on improving, your day to day starts to change. You become more thoughtful and aware of your actions. How something small like not laying your clothes out the night before, can make you late to work. That heightened sense of awareness is what being “present” is all about. Being present in the present moment affords you the luxury of accurately preparing for the next moment. Think about the things you do big and small to hold yourself up. Stop living life randomly and start living life on purpose. Stay ready, and you’ll never have to get ready.

Accept Responsibility

This was the hardest lesson I learned this year. I’ve always had enough praise, enough favor in my life that I rarely had to consider what was really causing me pain. From the outside looking in, I’m someone who is resilient, determined, and capable of getting what I want in any case. Unfortunately, that does not and has not translated into me being the best person from the inside out. I’ve been habitually disorganized most of my life. I’ve hurt people by being deceptive. Let people down by being careless. And this year I lost someone I love dearly because of this pattern of self-destructive behavior. I didn’t lose him all at once, like most changes it happened gradually. It happened after I repeated the same mistakes after telling him I’d change, I’d be better, but as soon as we made up I’d get comfortable and fall back into my bullshit. No matter how I twisted the situation, or highlighted the ways he also failed me, the beginning of our demise always found its origins in my behavior. I didn’t appreciate his reactions, and used them as an excuse to stay in my own toxicity. The truth of the matter is, I can’t be angry or resentful at his reactions without first analyzing how my actions brought us to this point.

When we split it was a major wake up call. He intended it to be. He wanted me to see why we were failing as a unit. Why we constantly fought and argued about the same things over and over. It truly opened my eyes, and I haven’t moved the same since. It took me a couple months to really wrap my head around what I was doing to prevent me from reaching my own goals of family and marriage. But once I gained some understanding it was easier to make changes. The path from that point to this point has been so painful, but pain transforms. When I stopped blaming him and started taking responsibility for myself, the ideals we were both striving for started popping up naturally. Things began making sense, and I started seeking out information he was attempting to give to me a few years ago. I had to discard some practices I had internalized from my childhood and from the negative experiences I had before him. I started to look within and pull out the parts of myself I truly wanted to see shine through, with or without him.

I’ve arrived. I’m at peace, I’m content with the direction my life is moving in. I have removed people from my life with ease because it became clear they didn’t care about my long-term growth, only reveling in the person I’ve always been.  These were the same people at the source of many arguments for us. Writing out this lesson was even difficult for me, because I’ve relied so heavily on my outward image that letting that guard down and allowing people to see I make mistakes too has been a huge fear. Your outward intentions must match the work you’re doing internally. For a long time, it hasn’t been that way for me. I was trying to find the easiest route to change while still staying the same and only chaos can come from that. I’ve learned a lot since 2015 (the first time I wrote one of these), but nothing has been more paramount, more life changing than learning to be accountable to myself, first and foremost.

2018 will either be another terrible year or a year for substantial growth. You will either soar, or be knocked out the sky. Regardless of the circumstances, your mindset should be one toward growth. Don’t let another year pass where you are still trying to break bad habits you told yourself you would quit 5 years ago. Don’t let 2018 close without looking yourself in the mirror and figuring out how you tick, why you tick, and how you could tick better. For all those who are anticipating the New Year with excitement and humility, like myself, be grateful for where you’ve been, so you can graciously accept where you’re going. Keep your head up, your grass short, and your heart full!

Peace + Blessings

Love + Light

J.A.H.

I Went Looking For God & Found The Universe

I was raised Christian. My domination is Baptist, and I honestly have no complaints regarding my childhood in church. My grandmother is easily the most religious person in my family. Far from a zealot, but she is the matriarch, the queen and we all obliged to make her happy. What we all know about Black Church is it can be a long day on those wooden benches, but it was always entertaining. From Sunday School with “Sister such and such”, to morning devotion, the hour long sermon, and last but not least the call to fellowship. I did it all from a youth usher, to the children’s choir. I enjoyed that so much I eventually upgraded to the women’s choir. I deeply appreciate the fundamental ideas instilled in me at church. It fined tuned my moral compass and created boundaries around my big heart.

I haven’t regularly attended church since I was 15. Nearly 11 years later, I have no plans to ever resume that ritual. I enjoy going once in a blue moon, it’s the nostalgia of it that draws me in. I love hearing gospel songs and an ambitious sermon, but the questions I started asking in my early teens would never be answered in church. “Why are there 3 offerings in one service?” “If the holy trinity is the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost, then where is the mother?” Most of the time I would be given long elaborate explanations that never really made sense or answered my questions, or simply told to stay in a child’s place.

In High School, I started learning the history of the Bible and how it was written in a dead language in a largely illiterate society. Which of course generated more questions. From that point I began an unconscious search for God. I read a lot of material about human spirituality, reading about Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucianism. I learned that Islam is the most practiced religion in the world, and Hinduism also had a widespread following and it made me wonder. “How can someone go to hell when they never even knew Jesus existed?” I felt my way through some deeply spiritual moments, including sleeping under a blanket of stars on a boat in the Pacific Ocean.

During a bout of depression in my early 20s, where everything seemed too hard for no reason, I began praying and reading the Bible again. It was what I knew best.  I found parts of it to be absurd but I mostly found it to be inspiring. When I stopped trying to understand every verse in every chapter in every book, and instead viewed it from a general overview it read like a guide on unconditional love. From Job’s unconditional love of God, God’s unconditional love for his son, and Jesus’s love for the world. Every Bible story has an underlying theme of love conquering all obstacles. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 is still my favorite series of versus in the Bible. If God is love and love lives and is manifested inside of us, what does that make us? What about the other organisms on the planet? Since God created all that we know and see on this planet and beyond I started to look for God in the animals, in the plants, and in my child. I read more about science, math, and how it is ever present in everything we see.

I came to understand the universal order that encompasses not just humans, the planet Earth, and the galaxy, but the entire Universe surrounding us. So after years of unconsciously looking for God, I consciously came to the conclusion that God is an energy that flows through all living things from insects to stars. God lives in all of us, and we show our best love to God by showing the best love to ourselves and to each other. I am in no way suggesting that anyone should lose their religion and follow the ideals I have. I believe each of our relationships with that higher energy of influence is deeply personal. It should be shaped and defined in the way that works best for us on an individual level. For me, I find peace in believing that all religions can co-exist. That as long as the world keeps spinning and the sun keeps rising and setting that we are in flow with all things. I love the air I breathe, the people I meet, and pure simplistic beauty that surrounds us every day. I found God in the flower that grows in between the cracks on the sidewalk, and in the intricate patterns of butterfly wings. So what does God mean to you?

5 Things I Learned in 2015

        It’s that time of year again, everyone is making the proclamations of “New Year, New Me” and setting resolutions to be better. How did you do over this past year?  Did you accomplish your goals, did you fall short, or were you completely disappointed by your progress or lack thereof? However you’re feeling about the New Year, if you are alive and reading this then feel an immense amount of gratitude because you made it through this rocky year. The cosmic energy as well as the news headlines have left most of us feeling drained and overwhelmed. For myself, I have had a transformative year full of minimal highs and heartbreaking lows. I’ve gained new strength while simultaneously letting go of my old desires, wants, and needs.  It’s been a year of growth, sprinkled with some complacency, but most of all it has been refreshing. I am entering 2016 with spirits high and no worries, read below to find out why.

1.)    Beware of Toxic People

This is a tough lesson to learn, especially for someone like me who loves very, very, very hard. Our love for someone does not cancel out any negative or hurtful behavior or energy they may offer to us. When you realize someone is a toxic person it is your duty to yourself to remove them as soon as possible. How can you identify a toxic individual? This person will probably display some of the following traits.

·         Offering criticism instead of encouragement.

·         Constantly telling you your ideas, goals, etc. are unrealistic.

·         Judging your appearance, intelligence, and actions.

·         Asserting themselves as superior over you.

·         Tries to start arguments.

·         No matter how much you give to them it’s never enough.

Toxic people often exude negative energy. They see the world in a constant lens of gray and darkness. The perpetual pessimist. They will not aid you to accomplish your goals only distract you from them. Toxic People can also be people you previously had very close bonds with that you have now outgrown. They can be family, friends, an employer, or parent. When we reach new levels of understanding of ourselves and what we want out of life, it becomes necessary to shed old layers. There will be loved ones who fall to the wayside simply because they do not see your vision. Trust in yourself to know when to love these people from a distance.

2.)    Stop Making Excuses

We all have some goals that we have be putting off for years, whether its weight-loss (guilty) or organizing your finances (also guilty), the only real thing standing in your way of accomplishing your goals is you.  I have been developing this blog in my head literally since I was 8 years old. Although I had no idea what the internet would explode to be, I knew I wanted to write, edit, and own my own publication. The only reason Origin of Original is not as successful as it could be, or should be is because I haven’t put the time and effort in. For years we wait for the right time, the right people to come into our lives, and the right amount of income. We wait for everything to be right before we try to get right and it simply does not work that way. We have to put the work in every day until we begin to actualize the life that we want to live. There is no reason you can’t be the person you have always dreamed of starting right now today. I’m not saying it is going to be easy, or that there won’t be moments of extreme self-doubt, anxiety, and a deep desire to quit, but you will never know what cards will be dealt next if you don’t play the hand you have. Do the research, take the time to do it right, but most of all take the first step. That is the only way you will see the success you’ve always wanted.

3.)    Love Unconditionally Always

The world can be very cold and miserable. News headlines are rarely positive, we hear about death and poverty every day. People are struggling to make ends me and the price of living seems to keep climbing. We get hurt by people we loved, shunned by strangers, and taken advantage of by significant others. We carry the weight of all our failures with us everywhere we go, but the only true way to overcome the inevitable sadness we feel at times is to remember to love unconditionally always. Love yourself, love those supportive people in your life, and love the very smallest of things. Show the universe gratitude for a beautiful sunset/sunrise, for a clear blue sky, or a hug from your children. If we focus on our love of life and our blessings then the icy coldness of the world begins to melt away. Release people from your life by forgiving them and moving on. Don’t hold on to anger, grudges, and jealousy, or anything that may taint your spirit. Live in love and be the light for those around you. Don’t let the pain of a previous relationship hold you back from having the one you ultimately deserve. Leave your baggage at the door you just walked through and move forward without the burdens of the past.  Changing your mindset to one of gratitude will change your outlook on the world and transform your life. Try it.

4.)    Stay in Your Lane

God created a lane specifically for you. The universe manifested you into the person you are. Did you know that it takes sperm nearly a week to travel to the egg? Along the way the sperm are killed by the acidity in women’s vaginas and even once they reach the egg the sperm can be rejected by the egg. When you understand the biology of creating a human being then you understand how much of a miracle it is that you are even here. Your time of birth is specific to you, down to the millisecond.  Even twins don’t share the same time of birth. So when you think about it, your own lane is created just for you upon entry into this realm. Stay in the lane God created for you. Be guided by your intuition, your spirit, and your heart. Do what makes you happy but most of all what makes your body, spirit, and mind feel healthy. No need to look at what others are doing just focus on your path, your goals, dreams, and aspirations. Focus on the lane the Universe gifted you specifically.

5.)    Single ≠ Lonely

Single does not equal lonely, please say it with me one more time for clarity. Single does not equal lonely. As human beings it’s biologically necessary for us to be coupled up, at least at one point or another. It is quite natural for us to view single people as undesirable and unattractive. It is biology after all. BUT we are sentient beings. We have thoughts, emotions, goals, and desires.  We have free will and sometimes people choose to be single. Single life is the ticket to truly understanding yourself. It is a time for working on you. Being single gives you the opportunity to focus on your goals and dreams, but most of all your flaws. We need time alone to heal ourselves of the wounds caused by others and the ones we cause to ourselves.  Referring back to lesson 1, don’t hold onto someone who makes you miserable just to prove that you’re not single. Better yet, don’t maintain casual relationships with toxic people while still insisting that you’re single. Learn to love being alone. Learn to enjoy your own company and bathe in your own silence. There you will find peace of mind. Once you fall in love with yourself others will fall in love with you as well, because it will radiate out from your being. Love and respect yourself so deeply that others will have no choice but to follow suit. Single does not equal lonely. Single equals confidence and ambition. The ability to break away from the social norms and establish yourself as a whole before finding you equally whole match.  

2015 proved to be an exhausting year for all in my circle. For myself, I feel as if I have been drug through the mud only to come out golden. I learned my strength this year, I learned that there will always be obstacles but with hard work and dedication you can overcome anything and create the world you’ve always fantasized about. I am nowhere near where I want to be but 2016 has revealed itself to be promising but also mysterious.

Peace & Love 

Motherhood Versus Womanhood

I had my daughter at 19. It is a fact that I am never afraid to share. It is a testament to my strength and perseverance over the last 6 years, but it is also the most complicated layer of my young life. I entered college right before my 18th birthday and I had my whole life planned out. I knew I wanted to be writer, I had prepped myself for this since I was 8 years old. I selected a university that had one of the best communications programs on the west coast. I was ready to chase down a career in entertainment or corporate Public Relations. No one could have told me that almost a year to the day I stepped foot on campus, I’d receive news of my daughter’s imminent arrival.

August 2, 2008 changed my life. Not only did I find out that I was expecting but I was already 21 weeks along. With less than 5 months to prepare for my new arrival my mentality shifted immediately. At 19, I understood fully that my life was no longer about me but instead about this child I was going to bring into the world. My dreams, my aspirations, and what little innocence I had left was relinquished at that point. I was afraid and confused. Not only was I not financially prepared for a child I was not mentally prepared. My grandfather had just died and everything seemed to be moving in fast forward. While I was surrounded by family and love, it was still a very lonely and isolating feeling.

As time went on I began to adjust, my daughter arrived on December 12, after 40 hours of labor and 15 weeks of anxiety nothing could prepare me for the overwhelming love I felt the moment I heard her voice. From that point on I knew that I was a mother, a woman, and a role model. There was no turning back, and although I was only 19, childhood was behind me.

Six years later a lot is different from that snowy day in December. The father of my child and I have split and we have been happily co-parenting for the last 4 years. My daughter has just started kindergarten, taking her first steps into the real world, and now she’s capable of developing life long memories. That last fact is one that concerns me the most. It causes me to second guess every decision and re-think every idea. It has also forced me to revisit what I want to be and who I want to be, as a woman my daughter can look up to, and as a mother she can be proud of.

Motherhood and womanhood are not one in the same.  For many years the traditional idea of gender roles made this to be true, but in an era where woman are choosing to be career women first and wife and mother second that idea has become outdated. So for a modern career woman and mother it becomes a bit of a conundrum to solve. Where is the line between the two and how do you become definitive in both arenas?

I am nowhere near feeling like an expert in motherhood, I feel the way I assume most mothers do. Every year is new. New clothes, new milestones, and new challenges. No amount of parenting literature can prepare for the experience of raising another human life, but just as I mentioned at the beginning of this, couple it with the fact that I just turned 25 and am at that crucial point in adulthood between finding yourself and defining yourself. I love being a mother, I love walking my daughter to school, reading her bed time stories, and playing with her dolls. I love nursing her when she’s sick, putting band aids on her “ouchies”, and teaching her to conquer her fears.  I love every second of it but I am afraid of being nothing more than a mother.

I wanted to do great things and I still do but I often wonder how I can balance my responsibilities and my dreams, and does chasing dreams make me less responsible. Do I have time to be a mother, a wife, and my own person? Most importantly how do I define myself and my womanhood? The fear of being mediocre and average terrify me every day. I wonder if other young mothers feel as I do, or if I am fighting something that is inevitable.

Don’t get me wrong for 25, I am doing pretty darn well. I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment that sits on the beach, I have that great corporate job that I dreamed of, and my daughter is amazingly bright and intuitive. What I want, what I always wanted was to inspire and motivate, to help. I want to give a voice to those that feel lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, who dream of things beyond the typical 9-5. So I am writing you as a mother who wants to teach my daughter and the world that dreams can come true, regardless of the adversity we face. 

For a huge chunk of my adult life I have spent so much time putting others before me. My daughter will always come first. She's at an age where its essential that I put her and her needs first, but friends, family, and significant others have also taken precedent over my needs and wants. My goals have slowly morphed into something I no longer recognize. I've been chasing the idea of a family, because I never had one and also didn't want my daughter to be deprived of that experience either. The results have been damaging. My sense of self worth has become dangerously tied into my success in a relationship as a girlfriend/wife in training. I've tried to play all the parts of a Superwoman without having that "Superman" to depend on. I've damaged myself and others trying to subscribe to some textbook way of living that is neither realistic or healthy. It's left me empty and depleted. And now I'm not really sure what direction my life should move in, what my goals should be. Cause everything I cared to accomplish required the implicit faith in an another person to love in the way that I do. And I don't think most people are capable of that. I am too needy at times, and too distant at others. I'm full of contradictions. I'm flawed, broken, and still recovering from the realization of my existence.You know, that moment you realize  how fucked up your family is and subsequently how fucked up you are because of it. I'm living all of these things right now.

I'm a kickass mother, and I don't have the best of everything but I'm sure my daughter doesn't realize otherwise. She is loved, she is intelligent, and she is confident. She stands up for herself on the playground but is still gentle and loving enough to understand the needs of small children. Her greatness reflects light onto me that lets me know I'm doing a great job at mothering.

Being a woman, and defining exactly what that means is what I struggle with. The first thing I've had to let go of, is being a woman and how it is defined has nothing to do with the man in your life and everything to do with the standards you set for yourself. I'm still learning what those standards are for me. Still learning my own authenticity. I have taken the good things from grandmothers, aunts, and my mother have shown me and decided I wanted similar but different experiences, but the different I was experiencing was not one framed for me, but for someone else by someone else.  But I know I'm on the right track and while things in life aren't perfect, and I continue to be imperfect. I am still trying. Even if I fail today, I'm still trying. And at 25, even with all my uncertainty I know that the woman I am now is still powerful and courageous in ways that my daughter will be proud of, and that  I can be proud of also.

Peace

5 Things I Learned in 2014

In true procrastinator fashion I've prolonged adding new material to Origin. So here we are 2/3 of the way through January and I thought I would share my 5 things I learned in 2014. In my defense the wrap up to my year was explosively transitional. Filled with a myriad of emotions. So three to four weeks was probably needed to sort through it all.

I think it’s important to self-reflect in a positive and healthy way as often as possible. Especially over the course of a year, if we can identify the lessons that’s we’ve learned we can better sculpt the direction we are headed in. In 2014, I turned 25, I hit my first one year anniversary at a job, and I experienced some heartache. Below are the 5 lessons I pulled from my year and hopefully you can find them helpful too.

1.       Health is wealth

Remember when you would eat candy, pizza, and fast food all the time and your parents would say “All that is going to catch up to you one day.” Well entering year 25 I realized they were telling the truth. Eating right and exercising seem to be the new “it” things to do, but health goes far beyond the body. Mental and emotional health are equally important especially in today’s world. Often times we are bombarded with violent imagery, sadistic news, and overall negativity from our social media feeds. Remember to take some time each day and unwind in silence. Whether it’s reading, listening to music, or just taking a walk. Our mind is both powerful and delicate, and we have to treat it as such.

If you find yourself not being able to shake off that negativity, or you often feel sad, lonely, and tired you may be suffering from depression. Never be afraid to seek out professional therapy to work through some of your internal issues, especially after a major crisis or transition in your life. Making that choice can be the difference between life and death. So always be vigilant about your mental health.

Although I glazed over the subject, nutrition is essential to maintaining a healthy body and a happy mind. Eating fruits, vegetables, protein and drinking a large dose of water can give you energy and brighten your mood. Eating clean is something I am starting to research and implement in my life. Cutting out processed foods, carbs, and sugar can not only aid in dramatic weight loss but improve overall health, including reversing and preventing a number of diseases. Diabetes and Alzheimer’s being two of the huge ones that inspired this change for myself.

2.       Take Risk!

Most people don’t like change, especially when things are going well. There is a fine line between content and complacent and most of us slip easily into complacency because of familiarity, routine, and responsibilities. Even with the day to day hustle and bustle keeping us focused on what’s right in front of us, I often find myself day dreaming of extravagant things and places.

We all have dreams, whether it’s going back to school, that great business idea you've written down and haven’t developed, or investing in someone else’s start up, we should never be afraid of taking a leap out of our comfort zone. We should explore new interest, new places, and new opportunity whenever we can. Is money an issue? Museums often times have free admission days, some yoga studios offer classes for free or for donations, and GroupOn and Living Social offer fantastic vacation packages for a shockingly affordable price.  Don’t be afraid to do the research and look into whatever it is your heart is yearning to do. Often times the only thing that is holding us back from achieving the things we desire is taking that first step.

3.       Organize. Organize. Organize.

This is the most challenging task for me going into the New Year, but last year taught me that not only does clearing clutter from your home or office create a more visually appealing space, it also helps calm the mind and streamline our thoughts. It is also a huge preventative step that helps keep situations from going awry. When you take the time to organize your life you switch gears from playing catch up from behind, to being ahead of the curve.  

For myself, the hardest part is deciding where to start, and my best piece of advice is to start small, clean out that draw in your kitchen with all the random papers, pens, and other household clutter. Even if it’s just picking one project per week until everything has its own place. Once everything has its place remember to put things back in their place after using them. Using a planner can also help keep you on track. The most effective thing I did was blend my work calendar and personal calendar together using an app on my phone. This way I know everything that is expected of me in advance. These are habits that take time to build but are certainly worth the reward in the end.

Organization skills can translate over to your finances, your career, and certainly your dreams. Striving for organization, not perfection, is the key to getting things done without expending an excessive amount of energy.  Organization can also be the killer of procrastination which is something we can all afford to get rid of. Time is precious we might as well make the most of it!

4.       There is no one size fits all.

We live in a world of “norms”. The media tells us what’s trendy, what’s beautiful, what to eat, and who to watch. Sometimes what we see and hear every day can manifest into insecurities or excessive spending just to keep up with the ever evolving societal ideas. What we all must remember, is the world is full of diverse people and cultures. There is literally something out there for everyone.

The last year has taught me the importance of shedding judgmental views and accepting people for their differences in culture, religion, career, or something as simple as relationship dynamics. There is no one size fits all for happiness. While morally I can’t put my stamp of approval on every lifestyle that individuals choose to live, I can view it, have my opinion on it, and move forward without letting it disrupt my peace. We should be looking for people who fit our version of happy and should be able to respect others as we too want to be respected. It is fine to live your life however you choose, until your lifestyle starts encroaching on, or hurting others. Decide for yourself what makes you happy and things will naturally fall into place.

5.       Love of/for Self

Finally, this brings me to my last point. Love yourself. This has become a necessary cliché in online media but I think it is a lesson that is relevant for the young and old alike. We get trapped in other people’s happiness and then make it our own. Whether it be our parents, significant other, friends, and even our employer. When we spend a lot of time trying to please others we neglect ourselves and encourage others to neglect us as well. It is important that everyone, men and women, take the time to learn and love themselves.

Spend time with yourself. Take yourself to dinner, an art gallery, a movie, or a day at the spa. Inquire with your family about memories of yourself as a child, write a list of all the things you love about yourself as well as a list of characteristics you would want to improve upon. When we spend as much time nurturing our soul as we do our wallets and our closest. We emerge as selfless beings even more so than before. We know how to give and how to take. We know how to set standards for our self which in turn teaches others how to treat us.

If you find that you are being treated poorly by someone in your life then remove them. Anything that does not serve you to be a happier, healthier, growing, person should be promptly discarded. While all these things listed here are easier said than done, we should be trying our best to move closer to our inner light. We owe it to ourselves to thrive not just survive. Once you establish peace within yourself you can be a beam of inspiration to those around you. 

2015 has revealed itself to be a year of new experiences and abundant opportunities. With the end of 2014 I shed my worries of the unknown and entered the new year with confidence and excitement. Change is the only constant and death is the only promise so we might as well live our life in the most diverse dynamic way possible. Travel, laugh, cry, and splurge (when appropriate). Life is so short and what good are we doing ourselves if we fit neatly inside any one of these boxes that society has laid out for us. Be healthy, be prosperous, and be blessed.

Peace & Love

Jacqueline H.